Just Be

My upcoming wedding has prompted me to focus in on what’s really important and what I really want.  You see it’s easy for me to get crazy excited about ideas and put my axe to the grind and go after them.  The thing is, I soon realize I’ve spread myself too thin and all those grand ideas, well, they fall to the ground.🙈  I’m sure many of you can relate to this predicament.  Passion and whimsy are beautiful but if left unchecked, they can lead to our own demise.

just-be1

So here is what is helping me to focus—

It seems as though most of my life I’ve been trying to be better, be more, and be different because I’ve felt like until I reach some elusive standard of success, I’m not good enough.  Pushing and pressing have been my MO (I am an Aries; I have the little horns for a reason;) LOL

Lately, I’ve been taking a step back and asking myself, ‘what needs to be different?’

What needs to be different about you and your life right now?

Do you find yourself wanting to be a good wife, friend, employee, dad, Christian, student, etcetera, etcetera?  All these things are good desires, but when you can’t just be you miss out on how perfect you already are right here, right now.  The key is to catch yourself ‘shoulding’ on yourself.  Then step back and ask yourself, ‘What needs to be different?’

Becoming self-aware will allow compassion and clarity to come rushing in to fill the space you’ve created in your heart.

be still

You are good enough without needing to do more good deeds, work harder, get more degrees or titles.

You are enough.

You are a child of God.

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4 Ways To Turn Anxiety Into Your Ally

“I told the doctor I was overtired, anxiety ridden, compulsively active, constantly depressed, with recurring fits of paranoia.  Turns out I’m normal.”  Jules Feiffer.

It’s no surprise that we all have issues that bring unhappiness, restlessness & tension into our lives.  Anxiety plagues 40 million people in the U.S.A.  Often times we feel weak or ashamed because of our anxieties.

Generally the quick fix is antidepressants, alcohol or being the frequent caller on the psychic hotline.  Advertisements & commercials these days make it seem like sunshine & whiskey go together, but it’s an illusion of happiness.  There are times when medication is needed & knowing the difference is crucial.

Here are some strategies that can help you turn your anxiety into your ally:

  1. Practice Journaling, Prayer or Meditation. (Guys, this is not just for females.)

Journaling or practicing your prayer life is a safe place for you to get out your emotions and process through them.

  • You can sort out your irrational & rational thoughts and become more focused.
  • Journaling is a way of developing self awareness which will enable you to be more compassionate to yourself and others.
  • Gradually you will learn to live from the inside out instead of the outside in. This will help you feel lighter & more in control.
  1. Be a best friend to yourself. 
  • When we judge our feelings it creates more anxiety and shame. When friends share their fears & anxieties you probably immediately give them encouragement and acceptance. Practice this with yourself. You are a human being & it’s okay for you to feel fear, anger, confusion.
  • Don’t fall into playing the victim. A good friend will tell you the truth & not let you get away with feeling sorry for yourself too long. When we get upset or scared about something we wonder “what is wrong with me:” Then we get afraid if we don’t fix it then we won’t be accepted by our partner or friends.
  • Rejecting your feelings is not going to cause them to go away.

Denying your emotions is like trying to get the ocean to not have waves or ripples, it’s impossible.

When we give up trying to figure out why we are the way we are, we can feel peace within ourselves.

  1. Let go of trying to be perfect.

 red head

  • When we focus on our imperfections it brings us down. Imperfections make you interesting.

How boring the world would be if we were perfect. The most brilliant artists and authors were dysfunctional. Robin Williams said, “You’re only given a little spark of madness. You musn’t lose it.”

  • That stubbornness, kookiness, phobia & anxiety can become our greatest ally when we practice self-awareness & keep it in check.
  1. Take care of your body. 
  • A lot of anxiety can be taken care of by exercising, eating right and getting enough sleep. Exercise is a positive way to release stress & feel better instantly.
  • It may be difficult to get started if you haven’t exercised in awhile, but make yourself do it for a solid 2 weeks, & you can change your life. Start with 15 min. of walking. It doesn’t have to be some big overwhelming challenge. Start to move more & make healthier food choices. Trust the process. It’s that simple.

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