My desire to inspire and coach others in fitness and wellness was birthed out of tragedy. It was when I was 15 years old that I developed the disease anorexia nervosa. I won’t delve into the details, but I had a strict Christian upbringing. My family moved every few years as my Dad would be called to pastor different churches. Anorexia was my way of exercising control and establishing boundaries for myself.
It was Summer when we had moved from Ohio to Kentucky. I can pinpoint the day when the shift happened in my mind. I was in a Summer basketball camp, and after our games a group of us would weigh ourselves. I noticed my weight was going down everyday, and I liked that feeling. I was addicted now, and couldn’t stop. In a matter of months the scale showed 95 lbs, then 93, 89, and it kept going down until I was at an all low of 64 lbs.
I would weigh myself constantly, run 3-6 miles a day, study to make sure I got the best grades, secretly throw away food, punch myself in the stomach, count calories all day long & isolate myself from others. It was honestly a living hell. I was in prison in my own mind and my own cruel taskmaster.
I was hospitalized and my weight was stabilized, but I relapsed when I was released. I had to WANT to be better. I liked the control and the security anorexia gave me. I began to become aware of how bad I looked and I even felt scared. Little by little I became open to an inner change.
Early one morning I felt a supernatural touch in my body. After that experience the desire to be better was greater than the twisted gratification of anorexia. I had to form a healthy relationship with food. I was drinking ensure for years, so I gradually began incorporating real food into my diet. I had to retrain my brain to not count every calorie. It didn’t happen overnight, actually it took a solid year to change my habits and thought patterns.
Weight loss is not a physical issue. It is emotional and spiritual. Your weight problem may be the opposite of mine, but no less threatening. It is threatening to steal your quality of life, happiness, energy, self-worth, ambition, desire to thrive, and so much more.
Nothing happens overnight. It takes patience and a TON of desire. You will have moments that test your resolve. It is in building up your inner strength, your inner man that you will have the power to stand strong when tested. Make your health a priority. Share your story with your friends and family so you can get the support and encouragement you need to create a healthy lifestyle. In loving yourself to health, you are giving your family and the world the best of you.
This isn’t the greatest pic, but I didn’t have many pics taken during that time. The basketball pic is when I had anorexia and the running pic is when I had gained my freedom my senior year.